Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Family dynamics

Easter at my parents house was pretty typical. Again, what a dumb idea it was to try to give blood was reiterated – I guess it can never be said enough. Apparently, and I didn’t realize this, though my sister said she’s been telling me all along – I’m pitiful and weak. Since my surgery my blood work has been good; my B12 is really high, but my energy levels are down. I got blood work done a few weeks ago and haven’t gotten the results back, so maybe that’s changed but generally I feel in good health. Are most skinny people energetic dynamos? I felt attacked and picked on – as per usual with those 2- but it is (and generally does) giving me some things to look at and reevaluate. I’m lazy. I know I’m lazy. Scott’s lazy too. But am I lazier than usual? Scott says no (he would) but I’m not so sure. Usually in the spring – fat, skinny, any kind of worm – I get the nesting bug and weed my flower beds, prune my roses and at least have the desire to plant things. And clean out my house, etc. But nothing this year. All I want to do is crochet and read blogs. I get bursts of activity where I’ll do the dishes and cook lots, but those aren’t the sustained bursts of nesting that will result in a clean kitchen or playroom. Part of it is frustration. Gracie is almost 5. I can clean the living room – have it company ready and she will destroy it in an hour. The play room can be organized and clean enough to walk through and she can destroy that in a few hours. And she’s sneaky about it. You don’t realize what she’s doing until it’s too late to turn the tide. I don’t want to be a slave to it and I won’t be a slave to it. I need to find a compromise. And maybe find more energetic foods? Anyway – things to think about. For a scientist, I’m really bad at picking out patterns in my own life.

Praying for: my single friends - that they find happiness and joy in being alone for now.

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